Saturday, July 05, 2008

7:18 PM
you're so cute.

It has been some on' and off's for the two of us.

We were happy together mostly I suppose, but frequently we would be quarreling and being upset about one another because of what each of us did.

Let us review what happened yesterday. I borrowed a lip bum from a friend, and it is those which is applied on lips directly. I did thought "oh what would she think of if I were to use it on my lips directly? After all this lip bum is borrowed from a girl." I tried to apply it onto my index finger, hoping I could then apply onto my dried lips. Nah, it just didn't work. I told Eunice who was beside me, "hold this -a bottle of soya bean milk- for me," and I went to the washroom. I applied the lip bum onto my lips after applying it onto my finger to wipe off the first layer. After which, i applied it onto my finger again to wipe off the layer which has contact with my lips.

The following part which came along afterwards when I was at home. I told her about the lip bum issue and said it was the one which you apply on the lips directly. As suspected, she would get irritated by the thought of me using a lip bum from a girl. I would feel the same if I were her. Over a small thing we'd get upset. Yes, come to think of it it is indeed my fault. I told her about the wiping on finger late. I should perhaps think of what to do to prevent us from being upset faster. :/ Just one of the small things that kept making us upset.

Next, today. About something I call, tell me everything, not. I like it when she tells me 'everything', and really dislike it when I know she is hiding something from me, yet she is refusing to tell me what it is. Take for example, this. She said I was replying her selectively. Ah I do know I tend to leave things out when I talk or type. So I asked her "What did I leave out? I just want to know." as I couldn't find out what I really left out. She kept telling me like not to ask as she doesn't want to say, as she doesn't want to know the answer anymore. Hey I only asked to know the issue but not to reply her. After a few tries with the same result, I simply forget about it.

It is stupid, but I told her that I wanted her to tell me everything and such, following that is that letting her know that I was waiting for a reply to that. All these, I was simply hoping that she would just say okay. Instead, she became irritated (as to what I feel) and told me 'everything', which include a secret hope she has for me and ending it off with "I don't want it now, because you know about it already". Everything became everything and tada, we quarrelled again. I merely didn't enjoy the feeling when we talk and I notice that she is hiding something from me but not saying, not meaning those that I don't even know or the secret things she is doing for me.

I want us not to be so petty over things, but I am petty myself at certain issues. I want to be a better person for her, but yet I am holding back so much when I am thinking that I'm giving in so much. Contradicting, and at same time being silly. Confusing, yet simple. Simply just deceiving I am. I'm sorry, my lovely girl.

I will be a better person. And I hope you'd not refuse to tell me things when I ask - you know those that I mean, don't you.

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